Specifically for all the teenagers from a fellow teen-girl.
This is my first ever blog and I don't know how much I will succeed in delivering my message to all of those teenagers like me out there but still, there's no harm in giving it a try no?
The topic that I chose to write about today is about loving yourself before you love someone else, sounds like a cliche relationship guidance no? Trust me I am not going to talk about that but about what we teenagers go through that the adults won't understand.
I felt like it was important for some of us teenagers to come out and write motivational pieces of work for the others of our age who are suffering from this teenage period, a stage where we are not able to comprehend what is wrong and what is right for us but we are clever enough to make out which option we should go for. This time period is so difficult because we feel like we know what would be the best for us but in reality, we know that we still need someone to guide us through these tough times and this is where we may lose our track and take the wrong path and make a mess of our future.
I completely agree with the fact that we should co-operate with what our parents and mentors guide us to do but on the other hand, we are also battling with ourselves solving other issues which are creating havoc in our lives and one of them is being self-conscious of our body image.
This is one of the most dreading topics in a teenager's life and as a girl, I can very much relate to it. So now that I have introduced the topic of today let's start conversing about it!
This is to all the boys and girls out there who are criticized for being overweight, messy, waste of space, and what not! Don't let it get to you!
Trust me the people who say you these foul words are the ones who want the satisfaction of seeing you break in pieces and your downfall and you should not let them get to you and give them the satisfaction of ruining you.
Now, this is what we're going to talk about.
Adults, heck, anyone can easily say to the person undergoing stress related to body image that you should ignore those people who shame you and pull your legs to drag you down, you should not let them bother you but you know what, never give any suggestion like this to a fellow teenager because trust me it isn't as easy as it appears to be, it only demotivates the person more because they are unable to do what you are recommending!
We should try putting ourselves in the shoes of the person who is listening to an earful just because they were born the way they are. Just imagine if you were always being taunted about how fat you look, how much make-up you put on, how you never exercise, how you never take care of your diet to reduce your weight and the list is endless!
I am sure you won't be able to ignore that, you may deny the fact that you look like that but still deep down you would be conscious of yourself and question your identity and your looks, you may start wondering whether you fit the beauty standards or not.
And this may lead to suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, competition, and many other things that would harm you physically and mentally.
I was one of those too who was always conscious about my weight and my figure and things were about to turn so badly that I would've been diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia but I didn't let the situation get that serious and took the matters in my control.
I started listening to music which would motivate me, I started doing the things which made me happy, I started working harder in my academics to blow off some steam and to distract myself from paying attention to my figure and it actually helped!
These are just a few random tips to overcome this that you can definitely find on the internet but what I am here to tell you is how to ignore this and how to start loving yourself just the way you are!
As the topic of today already states love yourself before you love somebody else holds a very deep meaning. To submit yourself completely to your partner should start with appreciating oneself first and then appreciating their special bond.
How will you be able to love someone else if you cannot accept yourself the way you are?
This is a very difficult thing to put in words but those who must be going through this would be able to read in between the lines and understand what message I am trying to convey.
Start defining yourself! Start listing out the positive things you have which others may not! Give your body reasons to accept itself! I have a lot of curves in my body which seem fat to me but I am glad that I am slim, see! Find reasons....to define yourself, to define your existence, to define the person you are and the right path would follow on.
Now comes another unavoidable question...Why your existence matters in this big universe?
Each and every person in this universe isn't just to increase the population of the world but each of us holds a meaning that only we are supposed to find out and this meaning would be the reason of your existence like Albert discovered the light bulb and proved his worth and potential and made a great impact in the history of the world, the meaning of his existence was to change and innovate and if he can find his meaning and show the world what he is capable of so you can do to. It's not like we all are different species!
But-but-but this isn't easy! Life is all about obstacles and up and downs that you would have to go through. Have you ever heard a person say that "I want to start a new chapter in my life"? For me, that means a second chance.
A second chance to start over and try to find yourself and start anew. A new beginning! Of course, we can reach there but don't quit. You should never quit because if you would quit in any phase of your life the people who were bashing at you would prove the others that yes, yes this person was a coward and an escapist who ran away from his duties and dreams and I am sure we egoistic teens don't want to hurt our pride through this rough statement now, do we?
So, the only thing we can do is hold on~ Hold on for the people who love and care for us. Keep going on for ourselves!
Another very important reason for loving oneself is to give yourself that second chance, to treat yourself the way you are supposed to be treated. If you cannot find a person who would treat you like the king or queen you are then you should be that person who would take care of the way your body is supposed to be treated, who would treat yourself the right way, the way that you deserve to be treated.
After all, you are the only person in this world who would be able to make yourself understand why you matter, and you would be the only person on this planet who holds the power of loving yourself the right way!
Keeping these few things in mind I hope that this blog could help you feel slightly better or motivated to continue living the way you want to!
Stay tuned for more content! More blogs related to teenage struggles would be updated shortly.
I’m shaking and afraid but I keep going forward I’m meeting the real you, hidden in the storm Why did I want to hide my precious self like this? What was I so afraid of? Why did I hide my true self? I’m the one I should love in this world Shining me, the precious soul of mine I finally realized so I love me Not so perfect but so beautiful I’m the one I should love.
~Kim SeokJin from BTS.
Written and published by Donna on 10 July 2020.